Waiting for His Irish Twin

Eli is very excited about his baby brother, Joshua. I don't think he totally gets it, but he loves babies in general and gets very excited when we look at pictures of Joshua or talk about him coming home. One of our travel group friends from our first trip to China sent us a a small mylar balloon on a stick on which she had Joshua's referral picture printed. When we first received it both Kai and Eli were excited and fought over it. We finally put it in Joshua's new room, on his dresser, but it didn't stay there for too long once Little Eli located it. He now likes to carry it around the house all day long, every day, and it has even made a few trips in the car with us. He loves saying, "Baby Jah-ooh-uh" with pauses inbetween each syllable. I love that they are exactly a year apart and share the same birthday. It will hopefully give them a special bond quite different from the racial bond Joshua will share with his Chinese sister.

Forget Your Plans!!!

Joshua... it was a name my husband and I always said we would use for a boy when we first started "planning" our family. I put that word in quotes because you think your plan sets the story, or at least the backdrop, but as we all learn at some point in our lives, life happens, regardless of your plan. When I decided I wanted to adopt, my husband was not quite as prepared as I was to embrace the thought. I gave him time to ponder it, and I even agreed to one more attempt on the infertility rollercoaster. Once that last ride stopped, I got off for good and started my research of the adoption process. I started looking at the international programs that were offered by an organization affiliated with my church. At the time they had programs in Russia and China only. When I nonchalantly shared what I had researched with my husband, he told me he would be more interested in China, but still wasn't ready to start the process. I dropped it, and gave him space. I continued to research Chinese adoption anyway, collecting information about the different agencies and how the process worked, but not sharing any of this with my husband. After a couple of months, we were out to dinner at a Chinese restaurant and he said to me, "You know what I've been thinking about lately? A little Chinese boy named Joshua." He did not know about the cultural preference for sons who will take care of their elderly parents, so he was not aware of the abundance of girls in the orphanages. It wasn't the right time to educate, so I let it go and celebrated our readiness to start the process.  A year later we had a referral for a beautiful 11-month-old little girl, who is now 6 years old, and brings so much joy to our life. We started the process for baby #2 less than a year later because we wanted them close in age. We submitted our paperwork just a few months after we celebrated our first adoption day anniversary, and we were "planning" on returning to China in about a year. Fast forward 2 and a half years... the wait for our 2nd child had lengthened, and was getting further away with each new batch of referrals. I was becoming more and more depressed. My daughter was now getting ready to turn 4 and my plan of having kids close in age was no longer a reality, for our referral was still years away from getting here. Both of my sisters were pregnant at the time, and my daughter told me I had a baby in my tummy too. "No," I explained, "Remember, Mommy and Daddy adopt our babies. Your little sister is going to come from China like you did." She argued with me, and became adamant that I was pregnant... and three weeks later I realized she was right. When she told me it was a boy, I believed her! And her baby brother was born 9 months later. We talked about names at length, as most couples do. "Joshua" and "Elijah" were at the top of our boy list, and "Josephine" and "Isabella" were at the top of our girl list. For some reason, when our son was born, we decided on "Elijah". And now, I know why. We were destined to have that little Chinese boy my husband spoke of 7 years ago, named Joshua. He will walk into our lives and hearts in about a month, and I'm trying my hardest to remember that plans rarely work... of course a good reminder is the lilac and pink nursery we are re-painting and re-decorating this week!

Fu Le Kun - Our new baby boy!

It's a BOY!!! OMG, we better get to redecorating! His room is lavender and his bedding is pink, green and lavender! I'm in such disbelief right now! There are two more big ironies in this story, if you believe in coincidences. (I don't!) He was born on his big brother's birthday, and he is living in the same orphanage that his big sister lived in for the first year of her life! So he and Eli are EXACTLY one year apart, and he is being loved and taken care of by probably some of the same nannies that loved KaiLi! My heart is swelling with joy! We will name him Joshua LeKun, and we'll get to hold him in about 6 weeks! We are all very ecstatic, to say the least!!!!

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow! You're only a day away!

Tomorrow we get our phone call from our agency!!!!! I just read on their website that they received matches today! We will learn all about our little one probably in the afternoon, and actually get to see her face for the first time! Yay!

Names, names, names... what do you think?

Okay, I just posted a message on my adoption waiting group wall, and actually included the name we are really thinking we are going to use for our new addition. It felt very weird typing it, and then when I proofread my message, it felt REALLY weird reading it! I even got a little choked up. OMG, I have so much to do, and here I sit blogging about names!

KaiLi Anne...  a lot of thought went into this name for our first daughter. Kai means "generous" in Chinese, and Li means "strength". Anne was my grandmother's name, and also the middle name of my mom, my sisters and me.

Elijah John... we have liked the name Joshua since we first decided to start a family, but now, 10 years later, I felt like every time I turned around there was another Joshua. We decided on another strong biblical name that was less common, so Elijah was born. John is my grandfather's middle name, and another strong biblical name.

If this next baby just so happens to be a boy, he will be Joshua. After all, it's still a name we love, and the chances of a boy from China are slim. A baby girl will be Josie. Wow, it still seems so weird to see it in print.  Her real name wil be Josephine, a nice Italian name, and a form of Joseph, Joel's dad's name. Her middle name will of course be after a saint, but that's still in the air. I like the name Kate, because of St. Katherine and I call my little sister "Kate" all the time. But hubby wants a full name, not a shortened version, for a middle name. I really like how "Josie Kate" and "Josephine Kate" sound. Think about how hard it would be to write out Josephine Katherine all the time, and that's such a mouthful!

The time is ticking now, and we need to make a decision...what do you think? Weigh in, please! (Unless you're going to tell me that you don't like the names Joshua or Josephine... I don't want to know if that's the case! LOL.)

We're Gonna Have a Baby soon!

I've been telling people for months that as we get closer to the end of our wait, the timeline becomes more predictable, and that it looks like June is when we will get our referral. It's June, people! When did it get here? Wow, I hadn't even thought about the actual referral in over a month. I mean, I have been preparing little by little for our little one, and I know in the back of my mind that the referral is getting close, but wow. My friend, who started following the rumors online a few months ago, just pointed out to me that "Rumor Queen" (http://chinaadopttalk.com/) is getting rumors of referrals and what dates are included. The cut-off date looks like it's going to be April 26, which includes our LID.  I couldn't even think straight when this was brought to my attention. My heart started pounding immediately. I shouldn't have been surprised because I knew it was coming. I just kind of lost track of time, I guess. Poor 3rd child! During our wait for Kai, I was on the rumor sites daily, and I knew to the hour when we would be receiving our call. I didn't have swim team, and soccer, and playdates then to keep me busy and thinking about other things. I guess I need to clean out the guest room this week, and get hubby to paint it next weekend... because we're gonna have a baby soon!!!!

I Am Real

When KaiLi kissed me good night tonight, she hugged me an extra long time, and said, "You're the best mom I ever had... even better than the one who got me out of her tummy." I hugged her tight, and tried to gather my thoughts. She didn't give me long enough and continued on this subject with, "I'll never know my real mom, will I?" Ouch, the first time those words were uttered from her mouth hurt more than I ever imagined it would. I grabbed her little hands, got down on my knees, and explained to her that I am her real mom. I am the one who takes care of her, and loves her with all my heart, and that no matter what anyone says, I am her REAL mother. "Then what do I call that lady in China?" she replied. "You can call her your birthmother," I said. I have always been open with her about her adoption story, and given her as much information as I think she can handle at each stage. I knew eventually I would have to teach her the word "birth mother", even though I'm not a huge fan of it. She accepted this term willingly, and asked me more questions about her story. As always, I answered honestly. I told her that her birthmother must have been a really wonderful person. She asked me why I thought that, and I said, "Because you came from her, and you are a really wonderful person." This made her smile. I really am very thankful for Kai's birthmother. I think of her often, and the hard decision she had to make for Kai. I'm so thankful that she brought this beautiful baby to an orphange, where she knew she would be cared for and hopefully given a second chance at a family. I know this must have been difficult. I don't know, and never will know, the reasons for this decision, but she had other options that absolutely kill me to think about. It was rather risky to bring her to an orphanage, so she must have really loved her and wanted the best for her. I always imagine the day she left her there. I imagine her kissing Kai's fat little cheeks, and crying as she bid this 3-day-old baby a forever farewell. I'm sitting here crying right now thinking about the pain she has to endure for the rest of her life, not knowing what was to come of this child. I often think about what she is missing out on. Kai is the most wonderful daughter I could have ever dreamed of having. I'm just so, so, so thankful that she is mine. DNA or not, I am her REAL mother.